Your Child’s Academic Mediocrity or Failure Should Not Be Treated as a Stain on Your White!

The video of a man scolding his son for having a poor results went viral on social media, a couple of days ago. In the video, the father can be seen slapping the boy while lamenting on how poor his school result is, while someone, presumably the mother, recorded the video. At the same time, we heard a voice trying to placate the man.

The dad pays $21k USD as tuition fee every month and his son was skipping classes, failed maths & English
He Only passed music
— JAGS (@EtniesJags) April 23, 2020

According to the image of the results,  the son had failed all his subjects – except Music and Geography and was absent for his Mathematics and English exams – the two ‘most important’ subjects.
There are a few things to note here:
Aside from failing, the boy did not bother to show up for two subjects – and the parents did not notice.
The boy passed music with a distinction.
The boy tried to explain and the father was too angry to listen.
In the midst of it all, the mother deemed it fit to make a video.
It can hurt deeply when parents have huge dreams and certain expectations of their kids and it seems like the kids are not rising up to expectations. But when it comes to education and the academic journey of a child, many factors come to play.
Many parents need to enlighten their children on the value and importance of education. A lot of children just go to school because they are at that phase where kids go to school. Many always pass their exams because that is what is required of them.
It becomes different when you explain to your kids that education is a journey, one that will help them achieve their dreams and future plans. Rather than push your kids to go to school and pass their exams, it is important to educate them on why they are doing what they do. That way, they won’t quickly open their books and pretend to read when they see you coming. You wouldn’t have to force them to study either.
It is also very important, as parents, to monitor your children’s academic progress. Parenting is more than spending huge amounts of money on your kids’ education or paying for textbooks and excursions. It is also about monitoring their assignments, going through their books, checking their grades by subjects, studying with them, having a discussion with their teachers to know how well they are performing in school and also having a discussion with your kids to know whether or not they are struggling with their academics. You should never wait until your kids fail in school before you pay attention to their academics.
What some parents do is that they visit their children’s schools unannounced, meet with their class teachers and ask about the academic performance and general behaviour of the child. That way, they know the child’s strengths and weaknesses and how to help.
If it ever gets to that stage where your child can conveniently skip school or be absent during examinations, then it means you have done a poor job in monitoring your children’s academic progress.
Although many parents want their kids to do well in school, they are yet to familiarise themselves with the academic struggles the child faces. Some of these could be dyslexia, bullying, fear, poor mental health, stress, bad learning environment. Some kids read but do not understand and while some can read to understand, they still find it difficult to express themselves while writing. Some kids have sight and hearing problems but their parents are either too busy, abusive or too careless to notice.
Many parents have beaten and nearly killed their kids because of poor grades without realising that the kid suffers from dyslexia. Also called reading disability, dyslexia affects areas of the brain that process language. Children who have dyslexia usually have trouble learning or learning as fast as other kids.

This was me with my son! It was frustrating, most especially paying so much to give him the best of education & I also allowed others beat him.Today, I regret every of that behaviour. I apologised & sought my son’s forgiveness when he turned 18.It turned out my son is DYSLEXIC
— Aisha Yesufu (@AishaYesufu) April 23, 2020

Bullying, fear and poor learning environment also affects kids a lot. Many students are scared of certain teachers and this kills their interest in that subject. It also stunts a child’s learning ability.
It is also very important to create a really good relationship with your kids. Establish an environment where your children can open up to you whenever they are struggling in school or anywhere else. Most kids do not talk about their failures because they are scared of their parents. But at the end of the day, it reflects in their grades.
A lot of people believe that once they pay huge sums of money for their child’s education, the child must pass by fire by force. It doesn’t work that way. It is not rocket science. You have to nurture and ‘water’ your kids brainpower and then watch them produce amazing results. One way to do this is to listen to them. In that video, the child was willing to explain but the father wasn’t ready to listen. That would have been the perfect time to know what the problem truly is. When your kids know that they can talk to you, it boosts their confidence and helps them make good life decisions. If they can’t talk to you, then they’ll seek for solutions elsewhere.
Come to think of it? Why are we seeing this video in the first place?! Why is the mother recording this? Is it to humiliate the child further? Or is it because we now live in a world where we are so quick to whip out our phones and make videos? If your first instinct, when your child fails in school, is to take photos and videos, then you are clearly going a poor job as a mother.
While it is natural to get angry when a child fails, it is very important to realise that a child’s failure in school is also as a result of the parent’s failure in ensuring that the child is academically sound. Both parties have failed.
If the child can pass Music and Geography, such child can also pass other subjects, if given the right encouragement and motivation to keep pushing. This does not automatically mean the child wants to become a musician in future, Music is probably the easiest subject for him, it is, thus, important to find out why other subjects are difficult for him to learn.
At the end of the day, parents should invest better in their children’s education if they want good results. And no, it’s not all about money.
P.S: Failing in school is not the end of the world. The most important thing in life is to keep moving.
The post Your Child’s Academic Mediocrity or Failure Should Not Be Treated as a Stain on Your White! appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Shame On You For Thinking It Is Okay to Sexualize Children

As of 2017, 44% of girls in Nigeria were married before their 18th birthday and 18% were married before the age of 15.
Child marriage is most common in the North West and North East of Nigeria, where 68% and 57% of women aged 20-49 were married before their 18th birthday.
A 2017 World Bank study estimates that child marriage costs Nigeria USD7.6 billion in lost earnings and productivity every year.
In the world, 12 million girls are married off before the age of 18, each year, and over 650 million women alive today were married as children.
The major reason why, even in today’s world, child marriage is still prevalent is because humans have developed and sustained the habit of sexualising women, right from when they are young. In the olden days – even up until now – the world waits for women to be ‘ripe’, so that their ‘flower’ can be plucked.
Most culture permits women to be married off once they start their menstruation. To them, menstruation is a sign of maturity. A sign that she is ‘ripe’.
Today, the world has, to an extent, kicked – and is still kicking – against child marriage, sexual harassment and violence. But are we making any progress?
Almost every woman in the world has one story or another when it comes to sexual harassment and assault. An average female child is already exposed to sexual harassment before she learns how to navigate this world and build a name for herself.
From that uncle who loves to carry you on his laps so he can slip a finger or two into your vagina, to that neighbour who is constantly friendly with you because he wants to press your growing breasts. That Mallam, Alfa, Pastor, that over-disciplined physics teacher in school, that daddy’s best friend whose eyes are always darting whenever you are around – everyone is a potential rapist and a risk to young women.
From religions that encourage women to be married off once they ‘see’ their first period, to cultures that believe a woman’s place is in her ‘husband’s house’, a young growing lady seems to have the whole world against her when it comes to her sexuality.
This is 2020 and just as the world keeps gunning for the liberality of women and the non-sexualisation of women’s (especially young women) body, some men have crawled out of their holes to salivate and show their perverse side when Yul Edochie celebrated his 15-year-old daughter on Twitter.

Happy 15th Birthday to my 1st child, my daughter.Danielle Chidubem Yul-Edochie.May the Almighty God be with you always.You shall be 10 times greater than your father.Amen!
— Yul Edochie (@YulEdochie) April 10, 2020

How much is her bride prize sir🙏
I’m 19
— kiss (@YoungkissTurner) April 10, 2020

Happy birthday to your Danielle…
Thank God say i never marry yet
— rickmani (@DanielKennis) April 11, 2020

Am coming to marry her in-law
— spanix (@Ekulide2) April 10, 2020

Birthday blessings to you dear. Sir if you can use her as giveaway for me I will be very grateful 😂😂
— Gideon Chinonso (@GiddyupKiss) April 10, 2020

Stay on your intensive care for now, at least 2 or 3 more years you’ll be out and ready to collect.
— MaxProdigy (@Joekhalifa_Blaz) April 10, 2020

See her innocent smile like say she no Dey collect or chop pesin mouth… Bring her to the movie industry and see the next Ned Nwoko
— Blazing iMax 🔥 (@official_maxwin) April 11, 2020

Give me your daughter to marry nau
— MAN OF GOD (@HeartOfGod_LOVE) April 11, 2020

Happy birthday to her more years to come in good health and happiness.. 15 years.. Wow 3 more years to go.. Patiently waiting
— @johntubi (@johntubi1) April 11, 2020

Success Wada claims to be an ‘advocate for unity and equality’, yet, he wants to marry a 15-year-old girl.

From those who saw a good flower to those who believe the ‘fruit is already ripe’.

Everything you see here is a sneak peak into the life and reality of young women. Being a teenage girl in Nigeria, in Africa and every other part of the world means having a long queue of men waiting to seize any opportunity to harass you sexually. To them, you are just a flower they are waiting to pluck.
If Yul Edochie had posted the photo of his son at 15, it wouldn’t have attracted this kind of comments. This shows that people still believe it is okay to sexualise a young woman, a teenager who is barely finding her place in this world.
The men spewing trash under Yul Edochie’s tweet live among us; they are our fathers, brothers, friends, uncles, colleagues, teachers, neighbours, clients. We live with them, we gist with them. We know them. They are not aliens who dropped from the clouds. These are the kinds of people we entrust our kids with.
Moving forward?
Although we live in a world where feminists , and women in general, receive a lot of bashing and are being accused of being ‘anti-men’, these tweets have again proved that we must never stop talking about sexual assault. We must also match our words with actions and ensure that we fight pedophiles and sexual offenders with everything we’ve got.
As Nigerians, we also need to do away with covering up sexual offenders because they are our friends or family. If your brother or sister rape someone and you cover him/her up, you are no better than a rapist.
If you are one of those who chant “let’s leave them for God” when someone you know sexually assaults another person. Then you are no better.
When sexual offences – and yes, that includes tweets as the above – are matched with grave consequences, people will be better behaved.
As a Parent?
See, we live in a ‘terrible’ world, so you have to protect your kids. Note that it’s not the same as being overprotective. One way to protect your kids from sexual assault is to create an environment where they can easily talk to you and open up. A lot of sexually harassed kids cannot talk to their parents, and then the harassment goes on for years.
Create that environment where your kids can easily walk up to you and let you know about that uncle or aunty that is touching them inappropriately and threatening them.
Parents need to also give their kids proper sex education, make them understand what constitutes as sexual harassment or assault.
At the end of the day, you and everyone in the society have a role to play in curtailing sexual harassment. Stop “leaving it for God”. Don’t say “ehn, it has happened, it has happened, God knows best”. Don’t tell the victim to forgive and forget or “let go”.
Let’s all ensure that we stand up against sexual assault and violence.
If you know of any sexual harassment case, you can call any of these numbers:

Or reach out to WARIF.
One more thing:
When next you are tempted to conclude that rape and sexual assault occurs because women are “indecently dressed”, remember that Yul Edochie’s 15-year-old daughter was covered up in that photo, yet many men still sexualised her.
The post Shame On You For Thinking It Is Okay to Sexualize Children appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.