Enioluwa Adeoluwa: Consent For Beginners

As important as consent is, we do not talk about it enough. It is a conversation that needs to be held constantly. Consent happens when one person voluntarily agrees to the proposal or desires of another.
Why is consent important?
Different people have different boundaries and everyone deserves to have their respect. Consent is essential to create a safe sexual place and it goes beyond the catchy phrase “no means no”.
In its simplest definition, the idea is that an enthusiastic “yes” is the only thing that begets consent.
Consent is required anytime you are doing something that involves another person.
 Things You need to know about consent:
What a person is wearing is not consent, no matter how short or how scanty it is.
How a person is acting – i.e., dancing provocatively, acting in a seducing manner, does not mean consent.
Assumptions based on what the person has consented to before does not count as consent. Consent has to be required at every point. That he/she said ‘yes’ before does not mean they have consented to every other time.
Consent to a different activity: A person may not be interested in every activity you want to carry out, it is important questions are asked through the way.
Coercion: Consent that comes with pressure or threats isn’t consent. You don’t have consent if you use guilt, intimidation, or threats to coerce someone into sex, even if that person says “yes”. Saying ‘yes’ out of fear is not consent.
A “yes” from someone who is unable to give consent: If a person is drunk, sleeping, unconscious, a minor, or otherwise unable to fully understand what is happening, they cannot give consent.
Not saying anything at all: Silence or a lack of a response is not consent.
Consent can be withdrawn at any time, even if you’ve already started getting intimate. All sexual activity must stop when consent is withdrawn.
Being in a relationship doesn’t oblige anyone to do anything. Consent should never be implied or assumed, even if you’re in a relationship or have had sex before. Be clear and concise when getting consent. Consenting to go back to your place doesn’t mean they’re consenting to sexual activity.
You do not have consent if you ignore their wishes or nonverbal cues to stop, like pushing away.
If you are in the heat of the moment, here are some suggestions of things to say to ensure consent at every step of the way:
Are you comfortable?
Is this okay?
Do you want to slow down?
Do you want to go any further?
What consent sounds and looks like
You know you have the ‘consent’ to go ahead when the other person has clearly said yes — without being pressured — and has given you permission to do something.
For Children
Consent doesn’t apply only to sexual situations; consent is about respecting other people’s boundaries. It is important that the ‘sex talk’ happens at every age. Perhaps one of the most damaging misconceptions about sex talk is that it should happen all at once. It doesn’t have to be so. Teach your children sex education as they grow. Do it in such a way that they can understand at their age.
One of the most vital lessons for children is consent and as a parent, it’s your job to explain, translate and debunk certain messages.
Early education about consent helps children to internalize the message. They would later grow into adults who know how to seek consent. That way, they’ll fight the rape culture.
In a healthy relationship, it’s important to discuss and respect each other’s boundaries regularly. Everyone has a right to their own body and to feel comfortable with how they use it.
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Enioluwa Adeoluwa: This Is What Working From Home Means to the Average Nigerian

With our constant search to stop the spread of COVID-19, social distancing remains the best way to flatten the curve. Globally, there have been over one million confirmed cases of the coronavirus and more than 70,000 reported deaths. And the numbers are still increasing.
With the lockdown in many parts of Nigeria, especially Lagos and Abuja –  Nigeria’s economical and busiest states, more companies have to adopt a work-from-home policy and this is to set to represent a major shift in Nigerian work culture, as it is one that has never been seen before.
There are obvious benefits to working from home, including fostering better work-life balance and easing the toll of long hours in Lagos traffic on workers. But other issues, such as constant electricity, water supply or data prices remain significant barriers to its long-term adoption. With only one week into the lockdown, some Nigerians have turned to social media to complain about what they are going through.
“Working from home is great, I have an in-house office, so it’s been easy. But I am frustrated, I can’t step out of the house, I can’t see friends and close ones, I can’t go out to eat,” said Media personality and influencer, Pamilerin Adegoke.
For many Nigerian employees, their offices remain one of the best places where electricity is guaranteed and where personal devices, including power banks and rechargeable fans, are often charged. Working remotely likely means incurring additional costs of powering generators. Then there’s also the problem of internet access costs.
“I hate it, I hate the idea of working from home, there is hardly electricity but the frustration of that is nothing compared to how much I spend on data and internet services,” says Radio and T.V presenter, Desmond Ekunwe.
Even beyond electricity and internet services, traditional Nigerian companies will also have to revise aspects of their organizational culture to embrace remote work than actual productivity. During this period, the executive of Lagos State has recorded its first-ever virtual meeting. The state’s official Twitter page tweeted “LASG says 14-day restriction announced by President Muhammadu Buhari will not affect governance in the State… As members of Lagos State EXCO holds a first-ever virtual meeting in the history of governance in the state”.
Attempting to find similar workarounds amid the uncertainty may soon become a necessity for even more companies. Remote work seems like a logical precaution for many companies that employ people in the digital economy, especially the new tech companies in the state. Still, it is not easy for many. Filmmaker and AMVCA winner, Bola Enigma, says “I have been often distracted and procrastinating, this is less productive and very slow.” Nevertheless, companies are enabling work-from-home structures to keep business running and help employees follow social distancing guidelines.
If you are working from home, here are some tips to help:
Keep it professional
Even if you don’t have a dedicated office, try to set up a work-space and make it off-limits to the rest of your household while you’re working.
Be responsive
Get in the habit of sending a prompt reply whenever you get an email, even if it’s just to say, “Got it,” or, “I’ll get back to you by noon”. Do your best to be available for conference calls or other collaborations, even if you don’t have strict work hours.
Set specific touch-points with your team
It’s smart to set a time each day/week for regular check-ins with your manager and/or your colleagues. That will not only help you stay accountable, but it will also remind your office counterparts that you’re still an important part of the team
Structure your day like you would in the office.
With the new enacted strict policies for people to remain at home during the coronavirus pandemic, one thing that is definitely certain is that this is a new wave in the country that would shapen the culture of the Nigerian workplace for a very long time. I don’t think we’ll go back to the same way we used to operate.
So, guys, how are you surviving this period?
The post Enioluwa Adeoluwa: This Is What Working From Home Means to the Average Nigerian appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.