To Kill The Culture of Silence Surrounding Male Sexual Abuse We Need the Voices of Male Advocates

For a lot of men, their first sexual encounter was through rape or sexual assault. From the nanny to the housekeeper, the school-teacher, seniors in secondary school boarding houses, and trusted family members, boys face a lot of sexual assault. Around the world, at least 1 in 6 men have experienced sexual abuse or assault.
A South African activist, Rees Mann, told a talk show host that 17% of South African boys will be sexually abused by the time they turn 18. A study carried out estimated that at least 784,967 young people, aged 15 to 17, in South Africa have been sexually abused, with 36.8% of the total number being boys.
All over the world, rape against boys is prevalent, but it is more worrisome in a lot of African countries and Nigeria where  substantial data to back this up is hardly available.
We live in a society that tells men to ‘man up’ or ‘behave like a man’ when they are in difficult situations. The idea of ‘manning up’ is to encourage (or in many cases, force) men to withstand pain and do odeeshi when they are hurting. The society raises men to believe that only women should show emotions and men who cry or are emotional are effeminate and weak.
The effect of forcing boys to ‘man up’ is that the culture of silence is being heavily propagated and promoted. In most cases, when boys find themselves in a fix, they shut up and look for solutions by themselves. When they cannot find solutions, they ‘man up’and live with the pain and trauma. In many cases, these sexually abused and emotionally traumatised boys grow up to become sexual abusers and emotionally unavailable or manipulative men.
A recent tweet by Ayo Bankole started the conversation on male sexual abuse on social media.

The Responses

The boy child needs to be protected from socio-cultural and economic vices; and just like when women are the victims of sexual assault, we have to be more intentional about male sexual abuse.
Killing The Silence
We cannot find a solution to this problem if we keep denying its existence. “Men cannot be raped” is a myth that many people have held on to for so long. The belief that a boy who was raped by an older woman/girl should count himself lucky needs to be killed.
To end the culture of silence surrounding male sexual abuse, we have to first admit that men can be raped. After this, we have to encourage more boys to speak about their sexual abuse and believe them when they talk.

Teach Boys Sex Education
Many parents fail to teach their children sex education. For many boys, especially teenagers going into the university, the only sex education they got from their parents was several packs of condom and a few words of caution, “we know you’ll ‘do’ all those university girls, just be careful and don’t impregnate any girl”.
From an early age, boys need to be taught that there are many pedophiles lurking around and they can come in many shapes and forms, as family or friends, as neighbours or strangers, as male or female – anyone can be a potential abuser until proven otherwise.
Teach your boys to report if anyone touches them in inappropriate places or if anyone forces them to carry out inappropriate acts. And most importantly, believe them when they talk.
Teach Them Consent
We have many boys who sexually abuse women because they do not understand what consent is. That is because the option of a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ had been taken away from them on many occasions. As a parents or guardian, you should teach your boys that no one has the right to touch them if they don’t  consent to it – even as adults. As you teach boys to respect boundaries when it comes to a woman’s body, they should also be taught to demand respect in return. Their boundaries should never be crossed because they are boys.
Boys Need Their Parents
A boy-child cannot figure out life on his own. That he’s a boy does not mean that he can take care if himself. The culture of “settle yourself na, no be man you be?” has to stop! Fathers need to step up and be very active in raising their sons and teaching them. Boys need more men to share their experiences, so they can learn from them.
Justice Starts With The Constitution
According to the Nigerian constitution, boys and men cannot be raped.
“The criminal code defines rape as any sexual intercourse with anyone without his or her consent or incorrectly obtained consent. Under this act, the slightest act of activity without the ‘yes’ of the other partner equals rape. It, however, does not recognize any other form of sexual activity, so any penetration of the anus or mouth is not considered rape under the Nigerian law.
The offence of rape under this act is also gender-specific; only men commit the offence and by implication, only a woman can be raped. Also, according to Section 30 of that act, a male person under the age of 12 years is presumed to be incapable of having carnal knowledge. This means that he cannot be guilty of the offence even if it is proven that he has reached puberty despite his age.”
In 2019, Senator Oluremi Tinubu pushed for a bill seeking to remove gender restrictions on rape cases. The bill, which has passed a second reading, will formally recognise men as victims of rape when it’s finally passed.
Without the backing of the constitution, perpetrators of male sexual abuse and rape cannot be prosecuted and the victims cannot get justice.
Creating a Better Child-Welfare System
Nigeria is one of the 10 worst countries for children to live in. A better welfare system for kids includes proper safety measures for them. Systems like child-hawking and Almajiri exposes kids – especially boys – to all forms of sexual assault. Children need to be taken off the streets, protected and provided for.
A Man is Raped? Don’t Laugh!
It is terrible that a lot of people see male sexual assault as so inconsequential that when a victim comes out to share his experience, especially on social media, people go into spasms of laughter. What exactly is funny?
Rape and sexual assault should never be joked with, used as a meme or as a skit. No one should laugh when victims of sexual abuse tell their stories.
We all need to do better in ridding our world of all forms of sexual violence against every human.
The post To Kill The Culture of Silence Surrounding Male Sexual Abuse We Need the Voices of Male Advocates appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Jessica Ireju: Beautiful Imperfections and Stained Glass Windows

Who else has experienced a random memory popping into their head and taking them back to a specific moment in time? In the last couple of weeks, I’ve thought about life, reminisced on my childhood and the past. It’s just this thing that happens every time I have a birthday coming up – I replay the past events of my life and attempt to decipher how those events led me to the present.
For some weird reason, I’ve had this particular memory on replay in my head: I was about 7 or 8 and I was tracing my finger on the patterns of the stained glass window at school. This memory ignited a sudden curiosity in me, I had to look up stained glass windows on Wikipedia. To me, they mirrored life and all its beautiful imperfections.
Stained glass windows are basically coloured glass, enhanced by painted details and yellow stains, that’s what gives the design its intensity and beauty used to create windows. I thought about the things that have smeared my life, the shocking details that have made my story imperfect but also how those imperfections have given me a story that is uniquely mine. It’s like how in random conversations with people I’m meeting for the first time, they smile at me and say “I love your name, Ireju, what does it mean?” And when I tell them it’s a reminder of worry, they’re always shocked that something beautiful has an uncomfortable history. When people send me a DM and say I love how you write, I don’t know how to say I wish I didn’t have to experience pain to weave words beautifully.
Stained glass windows, as an art, requires design skills to create beautiful pieces but also engineering skills to hold it together. It cannot just be beautiful, it must function, according to design fitting, into the space it was made for, resist strong elements, and support its own weight, especially in larger windows. It’s not enough to create a beautiful life but holding it all together – balancing family, career and other obligations – come with a lot of calculations because at every point in life, we must make sure the pieces fit together or it’s all going to shatter into a million pieces.
Then there’s the question of purpose – one that almost everyone wants an answer to. Why am I here? Where do I fit in? But it’s not like you get free time away from life challenges to come up with the answers to those questions. The reality is that the elements of heartbreaks, loss, and pain are hitting you hard while you’re still trying to support yourself on the journey to who you think you were created to become.
As someone who studied Archaeology, I’m fascinated with the past and heritage preservation. I understand that sometimes, a piece of something – as simple as glass – can be the only data left to tell an entire people’s story because guess what? We die and hundreds of years later, there’s no one living to tell our stories. Stained glass windows remain intact sometimes for hundreds of years, they are like you and me – resilient! No matter what life throws at us – pain, failure, even death, we remain standing.
One of the major forms of pictorial art to have survived in parts of Western Europe are stained glass windows. In this context, the purpose of these stained glass windows is not to allow those present in a building to see the world outside; to admit light but rather to control it so that they can focus on the beauty of these windows.
In life, we will always have a season when it’s just us. The COVID-19 pandemic forced us to close out the outside world that has some of our favourite things and people so that we could focus on ourselves. Just like these stained glass windows, we can discover the beauty, gifts inside of us – away from the distractions of the outside world and in the silence of our thoughts, hopes and dreams. We have to control what we let into our space so it doesn’t cloud our beauty. Even good things like light, when it’s overwhelming, can mar beauty. It’s just like how too much lighting can ruin the perfect selfie.
Some stained glass windows are donated to churches by members of the congregation when a loved one dies (they are popular with churches), as a reminder of how they’ve decorated their life with love in their absence.
If you ever read Nicholas Sparks’s “The Last Song” (or you saw the movie adaptation where Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth met and began their real-life romance), the stained glass window is donated by the lead character at the death of her father to a church. Because people are but memories when they die, they leave us with their quirks, habits, and funny stories to remember them by.
Recently, 3 days after the 2nd year anniversary of a loved one’s death, I was looking at the exact bricks in the same hospital parking lot and mourning another family member who passed away this month of May (death has a sense of humour, it picked the same month to visit again) I’ve had to decide how best to remember the ones I’ve lost, maybe not with a stained glass window, but in the stories that I tell – the words that I string together to create features like this.
How do you honour the memory of your loved ones? Life is a beautiful imperfection. Like stained glass windows, it’s not smooth, clear or devoid of obstructions but those stains are what make them beautiful. What’s the current beautiful imperfection in your life?
The post Jessica Ireju: Beautiful Imperfections and Stained Glass Windows appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is the 1st Black Woman to deliver UPenn’s Commencement Address since 1978 | WATCH

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has become the first black woman in 42 years to deliver a Commencement Day speech at the University of Pennsylvania.
Introduced by the school’s president Amy Gutmann, Chimamanda became the first black woman to deliver the Ivy League school’s Commencement address since 1978, when then-US Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Patricia Harris did so.
Chimamanda spoke virtually to the class of 2020, who chose her as their Commencement Day speaker, telling them about what strange times we live in.
These may be strange times – they certainly are for me – but I want to urge you to remember that there is so much to celebrate. You’ve done it. You’ve graduated. Congratulations.
The author will be speaking physically to the UPenn class of 2020 on May 22 and 23, 2021, as those dates have been confirmed as the 264th Commencement Day event.
Watch her give her speech below:

View this post on Instagram

Nigerian author and international speaker @chimamanda_adichie on Monday, became the first black woman to deliver University of Pennsylvania’s Commencement address since 1978, when then-US Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Patricia Harris did so 42 years ago. Due to COVID-19 pandemic restrictions, the university held a virtual celebration on Monday, May 18, 2020 in line with previous schedule. Chimamanda who was introduced by the school’s president Amy Gutmann, congratulated the graduating class. “These may be strange times – they certainly are for me – but I want to urge you to remember that there is so much to celebrate. You’ve done it. You’ve graduated. Congratulations,” she encouraged. The university confirmed on their website that the 264th Commencement Day event will now take place physically on May 22 & 23, 2021 and Chimamanda who was chosen by the graduating students as Commencement Day Speaker, will also physically address the Class of 2020 again, and fully deliver her commencement speech on that day. #BellaNaija
A post shared by BellaNaija (@bellanaijaonline) on May 19, 2020 at 12:28pm PDT

The post Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is the 1st Black Woman to deliver UPenn’s Commencement Address since 1978 | WATCH appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Together, We Can Help Irede Foundation Provide 4-Year-Old Adanna with the Prosthetic Limb She Needs

4-year-old Adanna is the Irede Foundation beneficiary of the month. At the age of four, Adanna has had to deal with trauma from an accident which resulted in a deformed limb.
On the 9th of December 2018, Adanna and her dad were on their way home from church when a trailer lost its brakes, knocking her father off and running through Adanna’s leg. Adanna’s father was badly injured, and Adanna was left with a deformed limb. In the past two years, Adanna has had difficulties moving about and participating in school activities.
The Irede Foundation is raising 195,000 Naira to balance up the funds to make a prosthetic foot for Adanna and they need your help. So far, the foundation has raised N155,200 out of N350,000 and about 195,000 Naira is still needed. If 195 people donate just 1,000 Naira each, the remaining sum of 195,000 will be complete.

So If 195 of you use this link which allows you to give N1000 only, we would have made Adanna Smile again! Ps. She hasn’t been smiling since her accident
If you use this link, you can give any amount.
One more thing, please RT!
— The Irede Foundation (@theirede) May 19, 2020

You can join Irede Foundation and help Adanna walk again by donating at least 1,000 Naira. Donate 1,000 here. If you want to donate more than a thousand Naira, you can do so here.

Let’s come together to make Adanna walk and smile again.

This post has been published for free as part of BellaNaija’s Corporate Social Responsibility.
The post Together, We Can Help Irede Foundation Provide 4-Year-Old Adanna with the Prosthetic Limb She Needs appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Nigerian American Mother-Daughter Nurses Uchenna & Ona Onyia are Jimmy Kimmel’s #HealthCareHeroes of the Week

Uchenna Onyia moved to the US after a bad marriage and started out working as a waitress while studying to become a nurse. She got her LPN license, her RN license, and then got her Nurse Practitioner license. Her daughter, Ona, followed in her footsteps, and now they’re both nurses practicing in Arkansas.
Well, until the coronavirus crisis in the US.
The mother-daughter duo decided to travel to New York, the epicentre of the crisis in the US, to help save lives.
To appreciate their bravery, Jimmy Kimmel enlisted Courteney Cox to surprise them and the other nurses in their hotel with NY style pizza from F&F pizzeria in Brooklyn.
They also got the folks at Mary Kay to gift them $10,000 each, along with hand sanitisers and skincare gift boxes for all the other nurses in their units.
Watch Uchenna and Ona talk about moving to the US from Nigeria, and deciding to fight the coronavirus from the frontlines:

The post Nigerian American Mother-Daughter Nurses Uchenna & Ona Onyia are Jimmy Kimmel’s #HealthCareHeroes of the Week appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Theo Ubabunike: Here’s What I Learned From Watching the Michelle Obama ‘Becoming’ Documentary on Netflix

NEW ORLEANS, LA – JUNE 22: Former U.S. first lady Michelle Obama discusses her forthcoming memoir titled, “Becoming”, during the 2018 American Library Association Annual Conference on June 22, 2018 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Jonathan Bachman/Getty Images)
It’s post-COVID-19 lockdown, but I am still working from home. This means that I still get to spend a curious amount of time binge-watching videos on YouTube and especially Netflix.
My taste in movies is quite the opposite of my taste in books. It is not cultured, eclectic or elite. I love cheesy movies; free of suspense and gun violence. I love simple plot stories, romcoms, happy endings. I also like movies that make me shed a good amount of tears.
I am also that person who always has a note pad and pencil handy when watching a movie or reading a book. I should probably call it my Book of Worldly Wisdom.
Anyway, a few days ago, after finishing the TV series, Orange is the New Black, I started looking for my next film or series. That’s when I saw Becoming. I squealed in delight, thinking ‘oh! They’ve finally made it into a movie’. It wasn’t a movie, it was a Netflix documentary about Michelle Obama on a tour for her best-selling memoir. Being a lover of all things Michelle Obama, I watched it anyway and took the liberty to pen down three quotes that stood out for me.
Quote 1: This quote was an answer to a question about dealing with invisibility as a black woman in America.
“…Invisibility starts here (in your heart). We cannot afford to wait for the world to be equal to start feeling seen. We’re far from it. Time will not allow it. It’s not going to happen with one president, one vote. So, you’ve got to find the tools within yourself to feel visible, and to be heard, and to use your voice…”
Quote 2: For this quote, I wrote down the question because I know it strikes a chord for many young people as it did for me too.
Q: “What advice would you give to someone who’s trying to avoid just becoming a stat? Like, when you go to college and you’re not just the kid with the 3.0 GPA. Or when you’re applying for jobs and you’re not just that person who graduated top of her class. How do you avoid becoming a number?”
A: “I think what makes you more than a stat is once you see yourself as more than a stat and you start thinking about ‘who you are’, ‘what do you care about?’ ‘What brings you joy?’ And I hope my story urges you to see the power of your story and to own that.”
Quote 3: This quote, for me, was the most profound.
“If we can open up a little bit more to each other and share our real stories, that’s what breaks down barriers. But in order to do that, you have to believe that your story has value. Be vulnerable. Dare to be vulnerable.”
I hope these quotes are as useful to you as they have been to me. You can also share quotes from movies that have touched you.
The post Theo Ubabunike: Here’s What I Learned From Watching the Michelle Obama ‘Becoming’ Documentary on Netflix appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Millie Small, the Bournvita Girl dies Aged 72

Cadbury Nigeria Plc today announced the demise of Jamaican singer, Millie Small at the age of 72, reportedly from a stroke, in England.
The star, who was born Millicent Small, sang one of the earliest Bournvita commercial songs. The song It’s Millie The Bournvita Girl was released in 1964 in the United Kingdom, under the Reggae genre. The Bournvita song helped popularize Cadbury Nigeria’s flagship cocoa beverage brand in the sixties.
A statement from the Company said “Ms. Small was also popular for her global hit single My Boy Lollipop, which climbed to number two in both the US Billboard Hot 100 and the UK Singles Chart in 1964. She was well known for her high-pitched vocals, which struck the right note with her fans all over the world”.
In 2011, the Governor-General of Jamaica bestowed on Ms. Small, a Commander in the Order of Distinction, in recognition of her contribution to the Jamaican music industry. Small is survived by her daughter, Jaelee, who is also a musician.
“Our condolences to her family,” said Oyeyimika Adeboye, Managing Director of the Company. “She made Bournvita a household name in the sixties.”
About Cadbury Nigeria
Cadbury Nigeria Plc (CN), a publicly quoted company, is the pioneer cocoa beverage manufacturer offering some of the most loved brands in the country. Cadbury Nigeria is a 74.99%-owned subsidiary of Mondelēz International, a global snacking powerhouse with an unrivaled portfolio of brands. The remaining 25.01% of shares are held by a diverse group of indigenous, individual, and institutional investors. A front-runner in beverages, confectionery, and gum, Cadbury Nigeria’s quality products–BournVita, Got Chocolate 3 in 1, TomTom, Buttermint, and Clorets–are market leaders in their respective consumer segments.
For more information, visit here or
About Mondelēz International
Mondelēz International, Inc. (NASDAQ: MDLZ) empowers people to snack right in over 150 countries around the world. With 2018 net revenues of approximately $26 billion, MDLZ is leading the future of snacking with iconic global and local brands such as Oreo, belVita, and LU biscuits; Cadbury Dairy Milk, Milka and Toblerone chocolate; Sour Patch Kids candy and Trident gum. Mondelēz International is a proud member of the Standard and Poor’s 500, Nasdaq 100 and Dow Jones Sustainability Index.
Visit the website or follow the company on Twitter
Sponsored Content
The post Millie Small, the Bournvita Girl dies Aged 72 appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Sinmilolowa Omole: 12 Lessons From My Parents’ Marriage

On 28th of April, 2020, my parents celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary.
A lot of people hear 41 years and exclaim, “wow”, thinking it has been all rosy. Trust me, a 41-year-old cannot fully claim to be an adult without experiences, scars and lessons to show for it. I have been fortunate to have lived with both parents and although I’m not married, I have stayed under the parenting and marriage of two ‘perfectly-imperfect’ people who have managed to keep their marriage ship afloat. As the last born of the family, I am almost sure I have stayed longer with them than any of my siblings have.
These lessons are timeless. Intending couples, as well as the married ones, can pick a lesson or two.
Here are 12 things I have learned from their marriage so far:
Respect is mutual
If I did not witness this in their marriage, I wouldn’t have known that every person deserves respect, regardless of age and/or gender – not because you are a man or woman, but because you are human and you have the God-given right to be dignified. I see no malicious manipulation in their relationship, inspite of their differences. I believe the basis of this respect is because they did not create room for major insecurities.
When a man is insecure, he becomes threatened by the success of his wife or her stereotypical feminine attributes. It is the reason violence happens. Violent men are insecure men.
When a woman is insecure, she could become verbally abusive and suspicious of everything the man does until she self-destructs the home. However, mutual respect places a bar on the level to which you cannot exceed even when you are very upset. It is this respect that makes you quiet even when you are tempted to erupt in rage at your spouse.
Violence is not an option
“If he doesn’t respect you before marriage, there are high chances that when the heat is turned on, he might one day ‘mistakenly’ hit you.” My Dad would say to my older sister and I. “God forbid any man hits any of you, you are leaving that marriage that same day“, he’d continue.
I have never seen my dad hit my mum. Never! It is why I know that an insecure man is not an option, a hot tempered man is not an option, neither is a verbally abusive man an option. They are all equal to violence. I learned that I am a dignified human being first before I am called a wife or anything else. So, anything that makes me less than that is a no.
Marriage is enjoyable when it is more of partnership than role play
I see a lot of people are quick to imbibe the mentality of boss and servant once they marry, especially when children start rolling in. My parent’s marriage shows me partnership (with no one maliciously taking advantage of the other) makes marriage more relaxing and enjoyable. As a primary school student, my dad sometimes had to cook our meal when mum was not back from work.
I have not asked them how they handle their finances, but I know they jointly contribute to family upkeep (although not in equal proportion).  Both of them are involved in decision making that pertains to the family. Nevertheless, Dad still gets to determine the ayes and nay, but with mum’s influence.
Individuality should not be lost on the altar of marriage; there is an extent to the happiness your spouse can give
I have learned that no matter the heaven and earth you promise each other, there is a limit to what your partner can do that can give you the satisfaction and happiness you seek. I have learned it is necessary to discover yourself before you marry – who you are, what you want, what you love doing, your circle of people and your purpose. It helps you to avoid straining your relationship by demanding what he/she cannot give.
Developing yourself will keep you busy, instead of overthinking what is not. It will also give you a healthy view of yourself when your partner is not doing that. It breeds admiration from your partner too. My Mum (even after retirement) bagged her PhD and keeps learning new skills. Dad is so proud of her. He is quick to tell my siblings and I about the new bag mum is making or the face mask she sewed for both of them. Hilarious!
Birthdays, career achievements, small or big victories – celebrate every milestone
Because in life, YOLO! You already know life is a mix bag of good and bad moments. It is the reason I learned from them that celebrating one another means a lot. Even if and when you are fighting or not talking with your partner, you must (as a standing rule) celebrate their birthdays, milestones and achievements. These things come once in a while, but the memories you will get from them are some of the strands that form the root of marriage and family bond.
It doesn’t have to be big. In our home, if anyone is being celebrated, we all eat grilled fish (or whatever delicacy) from one big plate and toast to the celebrant’s health and happiness. No matter how small, even if it is a card you can afford with a genuine heartfelt message, by all means, give it. My dad still buys happy mother’s day gift and birthday gifts for my mum. Mum does the same. They also buy random gifts for each other once in a while. These gifts and celebrations go a long way to show thoughtfulness and care. It cannot be one-sided or miserly. It has to be mutual and generous within your means.
Storms will either break you or make your bond stronger
Some unexpected things may happen that will shake you to your core. There will be every justification to react as you deem fit and you may even convince yourself that you can’t take it anymore.
Storms will threaten your family dreams, personal health and wealth, emotional and mental stability. Again, I cannot tell you about my parents but I know they have had their share of it, internally and externally. This breaking point determines if your marriage will make it to the next tempest. When both of you are tired, but no one is willing to give up, you add one more layer of bond and strength to your marriage.
What is marriage without team spirit?
When there are some major decisions to be taken, even the children (right from secondary school days) are carried along in the decision making process. I remember a time dad had a major interview, he knelt at the centre as we circled him and prayed for him in turns. I have always seen my dad as the head coach and mum as the assistant coach. I love that they carry us along and no one is left behind, not even the youngest.
Genuine compliment goes a long way
I learned to be generous with genuine compliments. I previously was not used to giving compliments generously, but my parents’ relationship has taught me that it is important and I should be intentional about it. Genuine compliment goes a long way, especially when it is unexpected.
Love is not perfect, it is quite messy
There are days you won’t want to share a bed with your spouse. You will be confronted with die-hard habits and what was once tolerable, will become irritating. I have learned to love beyond ‘picture perfect’ because humans will be humans, no matter how cute they look.
Your marriage will have its own peculiarities
Newlyweds are always bombarded with marriage advice when they get married or before they do. Even I gave my friend some advice at her bachelorette party. Nevertheless, I learned from my parent’s marriage that I do not and should not model my marriage after anyone else’s or certain tradition without understanding my partner first. Third parties may instigate partners against each other on certain things, in certain ways, but by all means, do what works for both of you. Then and only then can you begin to model after those who look like where you are going and want to be maritally.
Try to hang out as often as you can
Whenever my parents tell you they are strolling around the neighbourhood, know that they are going to a nearby food joint to enjoy themselves. When we were much younger, this was their practice. Just both of them. Although sometimes they carry us along. I believe this hangouts also contributed to their bond.
Your definition of love eventually becomes friendship – genuine friendship
I obviously did not meet my parents in the lovey-dovey phase of their relationship, as I am the baby of the family. However, I met two people who shared a lot together, sacrificed a lot and brought me up with a team spirit. My parents were friends right from the time I knew them – friends that share a bedroom. The mutual support was evident and strong. I believe one of the things that makes them stick together is mutual support. After all, what is friendship without mutual support? My dad recently referred to my mum as his nurse, while my mum referred to him as her teacher and mentor. These descriptions keep changing positively, and they are true. I see my parents practice friendship and support even in their old age.
After all is said and done, successful marriage is a matter of mutual choice and determination. I wish you joy and happiness.
The post Sinmilolowa Omole: 12 Lessons From My Parents’ Marriage appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.

Plaqad celebrates 3rd Anniversary with a Record of 15K Programme Members & 200 Million Paid Out to Members


One of Nigeria’s leading marketing technology company, Plaqad, is three. The Lagos-based startup has, over the past 36 months, built a reputation of providing marketers with the people, products, and platforms they need to effectively connect with customers.
Through its online platform, Plaqad facilitates seamless collaboration between social media influencers, content creators, and owners of media inventories, and brands looking to engage consumers and reach new audiences at scale.
Today, Plaqad, strengthened by a community of over 15,000 influencers, creators, and publishers have successfully placed over 25,000 pieces of content on social and web platforms across four continents, and directly paid out over 200 million naira ($570,000) on hundreds of campaigns to members, effectively helping its programme members monetize their content, platform and influence.
“Plaqad uses technology to solve public relations and marketing challenges faced by brands. By democratizing access to the best content creators, influencers and publishers around the world and providing users with the tools to effectively create, track, measure, and optimize their campaigns, we help businesses reach millions of consumers worldwide, irrespective of their size or location,” said Plaqad’s Co-founder & CEO, Gbenga Sogbaike.
According to a new report “Martech: 2020 and Beyond” collaboratively produced by BDO, WARC, and the University of Bristol, the global spend on marketing technology is $121.5 billion. This represents a significant share of the global advertising market estimated to be worth US$ 560 billion in 2019 by Statista.
In addition, the Financial Times in a recent post projects the value of the global influencer market; another area where Plaqad features prominently to reach $15 billion by 2022.
With the covid19 pandemic necessitating prolonged social distancing and lockdown measures across the globe, traditional means of marketing like events, out-of-home, and newspapers have suffered setbacks as consumer behaviour continues to change.
Companies like Plaqad which are at the forefront of digital media technology will help marketers, influencers, brands, and the government to navigate the new reality.
With social media usage by consumers on a steady rise this period; 61% over normal usage rates according to research firm Kantar, brands are leaning into influencer marketing to deliver relevant and consistent messages that keep their audiences engaged amid the coronavirus crisis and they look up to marketing tech companies like Plaqad to navigate the new normal.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-This content has been published for free as part of‘s commitment to youth, education, healthcare and community development as part of our corporate social responsibility programme.
The post Plaqad celebrates 3rd Anniversary with a Record of 15K Programme Members & 200 Million Paid Out to Members appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.